This charity bowl has the most personal history for me. I haven’t played it the past couple of years but decided I was going to return this year. It is run by 857. Back around ’05 when he and I were both enthusiastic, younger and more foolish believers in the Association he decided he would organize a charity bowl at his home course Druid Hill in downtown Baltimore. Druid Hill is where the Baltimore Zoo is. The locals always say if you can’t find a used condom or needle during a round you haven’t been paying attention. As 857 and I were bantering around marketing ideas back in the day for the first charity bowl at Druid Hill he came up with the idea of using the courses rep and introduced the greatest charity bowl slogan ever:
Free crack yo!
This quickly went on the flyer (back then players actually hung flyers on courses to advertise events) and playing with the crack theme I added a picture of Cuban model Vida Guerra. Many of you may not be familiar with her work as you may not be regular readers of such fine publications as Smooth. However feel free to swing by corporate anytime as Greg has a coffee table stacked with back issues in the lobby. I’ll pause briefly so you can Yahoo! Ms. Guerra and see for yourself why I selected her. I would suggest using Vida Guerra ass as your search terms. I’m confident 58% of you readers won’t make it back to this blog until Tuesday. Be advised that most of these images are NSFW. We proudly advertised the Druid Charity Bowl on the Association message board. A couple of days pass and 857 gets a call at work from the Association tool who is head of the charity bowls.
857: Hello this is Paul:
Association Tool: Hi Paul it’s Rick from the Association.
857: Hey Rick what’s going on?
AT: Well Paul while we appreciate you organizing a charity bowl at Druid we are a little concerned about the concept and direction you are taking.
857: How so?
AT: Well your flyer and the posts on the message board aren’t the happy wholesome image we are looking to project with these events.
857: I’m just trying to generate buzz (insert your own joke here) to increase attendance and the amount of money raised.
AT: We’re concerned that you’ve got a crack whore on your flyer.
857: She’s not a crack whore she’s an ass model.
AT: And we’re not comfortable with the involvement of this Hawkgammon character and the charity bowl.
857: Hawkgammon? He’s not involved at all. I barely know the guy. He’s just a local player who posts junk on a message board.
AT: Oh. Okay then. Thanks. Keep up the good work then.
*now you know why we never say ice around here with regards to the charity bowls.
The funniest part of the conversation to me as recounted by 857 is how he’s at work at his financial institution wearing his shirt and tie huddled over the phone whispering “She’s not a crack whore” hoping his co-workers can’t overhear his conversation.
So I’m heading into the city…
I bet you don’t have one of these in your neighborhood. I enjoy some local ambiance as I mosey to the park.